


just don't let go, just don't

by emmerrr



Series: Only Fools Rush In [13]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, supportive boyfriend Ronan Lynch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 12:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14308617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmerrr/pseuds/emmerrr
Summary: Adam says a bittersweet goodbye to his apartment at St Agnes.





	just don't let go, just don't

**Author's Note:**

> *title is the hellogoodbye song of the same name 
> 
> this was actually written to fill a kiss prompt on tumblr which was: a hoarse whisper “kiss me”. i ended up giving it more context than a kiss prompt probably needed and it's short but i liked it enough to post here :)

“Has it always been so… _small?”_ Ronan asked, reaching his hands up to touch the sloping ceiling. 

“It must have been,” Adam replied absently, looking around at the now bare expanse of his apartment above St Agnes. In his arms he carried the last box of his belongings, a little desk-top lamp sticking out of the top.

With a month to go until Adam left for college, it no longer made sense to keep paying rent at the apartment when he would be spending barely any time there. His moving date had arrived, and he and Ronan had spent the day packing up Adam’s meagre possessions and moving them to the Barns.

Thanks to what had already made its way over to the Barns after Adam had already been splitting his time all summer, they discovered they would only need to make two trips, and that was only because Adam’s mattress had taken up too much room in the car to fit much else in. 

(”Leave it, Parrish. Let’s burn it,” Ronan had said, but Adam had paid for that mattress himself and it was coming with them goddamn it. It had life left in it yet; there was no telling when it might come in handy.)

They dropped off one load before returning for the rest, loaded up the car, and now all that was left to do was lock up and leave. Adam was going to post the key through the St. Agnes office door, and that would be that.

He stood in the doorway, trying to figure out how he felt about leaving for the last time. It was hard to be objective about it with Ronan also in the room; Adam was very aware that he was being watched.

“What?” he asked, sliding a look Ronan’s way.

Ronan shrugged. “Nothing, man. I dunno. Are you sad?”

Adam shifted the weight of the box to one arm and pressed his palm to the wall. “Yes. No. I don’t know,” he said.

Ronan snorted. “Well that clears  _that_ up.”

It was Adam’s turn to shrug. “It’s the best I can come up with right now.”

Ronan came over and took the box from Adam. “I’ll wait in the car, Parrish. Take your time.”

Adam listened to Ronan’s footsteps retreat down the steps, quietly grateful for being given room to process. He took the key out of his pocket and turned it over in his hands.

Such a lot had happened since Adam had lived here. Such a lot had changed. 

He remained just over the threshold for another minute or so, allowing himself to feel wistful about leaving. To admit to himself that there would be parts of living there that he’d miss.

Adam smiled, and knocked his knuckles against the door-frame.

“Okay,” he said to himself, and shut the door.

 

* * *

 

 

Back at the Barns, all of the remaining boxes were shoved in Declan’s room for now, except for the one with the little lamp in it, which was the last to be removed from the car. Ronan had shouldered a large duffel bag containing most of Adam’s clothes, and Adam followed him up the stairs and into his bedroom, box in hand.

Ronan put the duffel on the floor in front of his closet, and Adam shut the bedroom door and leaned against it heavily. He felt…fluttery. Floaty. He didn’t have another way to describe it.

When Ronan turned around and noticed Adam hadn’t moved away from the door, he raised an eyebrow. “You gonna put that down, Parrish?”

Adam looked at the box in his hands, and then, almost robotically, he went and put it down in the corner of the room. 

In a months time, Adam would have to pack up to leave for college, but it would be different; he wouldn’t have to take  _everything,_ because it would be here waiting for him when he came back.

Almost all of Adam’s memories of his time at St. Agnes were so firmly intertwined with memories of Ronan as well. He was so often there, spending the night on the floor, and then on the mattress with Adam. There was always Ronan. And now he was in Ronan’s house, in Ronan’s room, where he and Ronan had shared their first kiss.

_RonanRonanRonan._

He was in Ronan sensory overload.

“Adam?” Ronan’s voice was closer than before, and full of concern. Adam looked up to see those oh-so familiar eyes boring into his own.

“Ronan,” he said, his voice no more than a hoarse whisper.  _“Kiss me.”_

Never needing to be asked twice, Ronan took another step into Adam’s space and tilted up his chin, capturing his lips in a kiss whilst gently easing his free hand into Adam’s hair.

It was warm and comforting and  _easy_ , and Adam let himself be guided backwards without breaking the kiss, safe in the knowledge that Ronan wouldn’t let him fall or bump into anything. They hit the edge of the bed, and Adam was gently pushed down. Ronan was a familiar and welcome weight above him, and Adam couldn’t help but think that this kiss,  _this_ kiss—

—it felt like being welcomed home.


End file.
